Upon reflection of our lives we can see where our decisions have led us. And to go even further we can observe where we were within ourselves (our state of mind and heart) when we made those decisions.

There are so many things that can affect our decisions. I know in the past I have made decisions from a place of Love, survival, confidence, fear and insecurities to name a few; and it’s easy to blame others for the part they may have played as those decisions manifested (especially if things went pear shaped); I have to mention here that as children we most likely couldn’t help a lot of our experiences, but as adults we must recognise our own power in everything: what we agreed to, challenged, stopped, allowed or ignored. What we did or didn’t do. This is important to bear in mind so we know where to make changes going forward.

Even the choice to not make a decision is a decision within itself.

If we’re willing to look back and observe our success stories, challenges and also where things didn’t work out as planned, we can learn a lot about ourselves and our decision making process, gaining insight into our personal formula for success.

a few examples that we may be familiar with:

The impact of decisions can be short or long term depending on what it is:

• Sore feet after a night out (and maybe a “headache”)
• Taking a wrong turn when driving somewhere
• Signing up for a short course
• Studying a degree
• Following your passion
• Career and location of your job
• Changing Career
• Financial Investments
• Buying a House
• moving to a new Country
• Marriage
• Starting a Family
• Relationships, Friendships & Associates
• Starting a Business
• Signing tenancy agreements and ending up in prison! (click this post if you’re confused about this one lol)

Pivoting

We don’t have to stick with one decision either. We are all entitled to change our minds at any point but let me tell you! Something that I’ve come to realise is that some pivots to change the direction our decisions can be quick and relatively painless, while others can literally take years to manoeuvre.

For example, a personal example. When I was released from prison I had to start from scratch. I had to move back into my mothers, find a place a live, get a job and on top of that I had to report to probation for the next 2 years. I never want to go through all that again so I know to make better decisions going forward in my life. It was extremely inconvenient! But I got through it and learned so much about myself and life in general.

Another example could be saving for a deposit for a house or a car, or even paying off debts; You may have to scale back spending and make some cut for while, but the bigger picture is a beautiful new home/car or being debt free!

Changing direction no matter what it is will come with some disruption but if it’s what you want it will be worth it in the end.

The fear

Ok, so what about the things that stop us from doing what we want to do? Desire to do! I know fear has stopped me from doing many things in the past. It delayed me from starting this blog. Putting myself out there on the ‘innanet’ was scary to me but my purpose required me to do it. My love of writing and sharing my experiences had to extend past my Facebook posts for my family and friends. I had to get over the opinions of others and being judged while doing what’s right for me. And here I am! Doing di ting and it feels amazing and liberating. I also have a friend who moved to another country, became a citizen of that country. She had a vision for herself and she went for it despite the challenges and the financial investments what went with it. She is now living her best life!

In contrast it could be something personal such as ceasing or changing relationship/friendship dynamics or going against what’s “expected’ of you, worrying about the challenge and backlash. However, If you feel convicted in your heart, follow it.

when you realise you f*cked up!

Listen, we all make mistakes and none of us are perfect. We can think something is a great idea and then realise a little down the line that it’s not for us or not what we expected and that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up about it just take everything as a learning opportunity. If you need a moment to be in your feelings that’s ok too! Don’t stay there too long though! (goodness knows I like to cuss and gwarn when I’m ready! lol) Anyway, calmly go back over the details to see if you missed something; then make a decision if you’re going to stay the course and if not, proceed to pivot!

the unknown

I used to be like this. If I couldn’t see how everything would plan out I would abandon the whole idea. Or if something wasn’t going as planned I would take it as a sign that it wasn’t for me when looking back, sometimes that wasn’t the case it was just challenges. And when I stopped, not moving towards anything, things became stagnant and I would become dissatisfied and uninspired. I used to fear the unknown and expect the worse if I’m honest. I wanted guarantees. I wanna know that when I do this, the next step would be right there and that person would help as I imagined it. But life doesn’t work like that; not everything is guaranteed. The mystery is the beauty of life. It’s what keeps us curious. Inching forward. That’s what makes life stories so interesting. The journey, the twist and turns and how things worked out. I’m comfortable with not knowing. I hold my intention for what I want for myself; and I look forward towards life greeting my efforts and seeing everything unfold in it’s own unique way. I trust myself and my capabilities no matter what happens.

Challenges are a part of life and discernment is key so look at the pros and cons (and your heart) and do what’s best for you!

Seeya in the next post!