Hiya Love! This is a topic that comes up a lot in my personal conversations and applies to all areas of our lives. Some of us need to exercise more emotional discipline when it comes to making decisions. It counts even more when it comes to areas where we have the most weakness, lack of control, or where there always seems to be an issue.

What is emotional Discipline?

Emotional Discipline is the balance between recognising our feelings and then choosing how to respond constructively in the situation. I’m sure many of us have over-reacted to situations in the past before; put our business all out there on a Facebook status for example and upon reflection realised it could have been handled better, more effectively. Or maybe you’ve not responded at all and was left disappointed in your lack of assertiveness. Maybe you’re an emotional spender or let your emotions lead you into making other poor choices. Listen, we’ve all been there. Emotions are a part of human nature.

In my view emotional discipline is about feeling your emotions but choosing a course of action that is self honouring and affirming in the most positive way. 

Emotional Overload!

We don’t want to be spinning around in circles all the time over the same shit. It can be exhausting (for you and for others) spilling your emotions over all over the place, constantly kicking off, complaining about the same issues, unfulfilled situations, making the same mistakes. At some point we’ve got to ask ourselves “what can I do about this?” because even if other people are involved we can only control ourselves and the parts we play. This is another one of those ‘easier said than done’ phrases. I will not pretend that this is going to be easy, but you must make a start to change, and practice makes progress in the right direction. We want a long-term solution.

First things First

I think it is important to note that we don’t get what we want all the time. Life doesn’t work like that and that’s the thing with emotions though, we want instant satisfaction and relief and this is where the problem starts. Let’s stop forcing things to go the way we want them to be. See them as they are. We need to withdraw and starve the emotion of whatever the feeling is telling you it needs. Let’s get to the bottom of it.

Issue	underlying causes	Solution
unavailable woman/man	loneliness, habit, don’t wanna start over, emotionally invested	stop calling/texting/responding, date other people, occupy your time
emotional spending	sadness, anger, stress	find positive alternatives to relieve the stress, anger, sadness, get therapy
oversharing on FB/Instagram	wanting to connect, shaming others, want to be seen	Stop posting your business, call a friend or get a counsellor

Facts over Feelings

You must be honest with yourself. I know many people are comfortable lying to themselves but if you’re going to be honest with anyone if must be yourself first. It’s not about suppressing your emotions but getting to a point of being able to be with them. Feelings have their place but we must direct them accordingly. Master them effectively. Sometimes the best thing to do in any situation is the hardest and not the easiest. But that’s what makes the success the sweetest. Do the right thing even when you don’t want to and you can’t be arsed.

I also believe that lack of emotional truth, discipline and failure to do the right thing is what causes us so much pain. We don’t see it at the time but after a while it wears us down or we find that we’ve fallen behind in some way. We become disappointed which can also lead to depression. Do you see where I am going here? A little reflection and forward thinking. Doing the right thing regardless of what we feel sets us up for success, happiness, peace, stability and so much more. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You’re making room for the things that are aligned for you. Stay the course.

I could go on and on and on but they say when you know better you do better. I don’t think I fully agree with that. How many times have we known better and still done the opposite? I believe when we know better and have it in out hearts and minds to change, to want and do better, that’s when the real work starts. I hope the seeds of change blossom in your hearts and mind.

happy endings

I didn’t say it would be easy and there will be times when our weaknesses gets the better of us, but if you really want it then I believe you can do it. At first it is hard and feels impossible but when you work that discipline like a muscle it gets stronger and stronger. You will be so proud of yourself and you will also find yourself in a new space that you didn’t even know existed. A place of self-trust, discipline, power and peace. You’re able to process your emotions in a methodical and empowering way. And even if you don’t get what you want in the moment, you’ll get what’s right for you in the long run. Ok?

Seeyalaterbye!