What is self-esteem?

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, self-esteem is “belief and confidence in your own ability and value” other terms such as self-respect, self-worth and morals are also used around the subject.

We live in a world, especially now with social media, where most people and institutions are voicing their opinions, highlighting, throwing judgements, celebrating and tearing down according to what is deemed acceptable and unacceptable globally, in our societies, communities and even within our families.

So where do you fit in all this?

I believe we live in 2 worlds; the physical world, Earth (obvs) and the world within ourselves (heart and mind) that no-one sees. The 2 are very connected as they are in constant communication in terms of how we receive and interpret information from every aspect of our daily lives. We learn what is accepted, praised and generally liked and what is frowned upon or looked at sideways too. However, In all of this we need to know who we are, be in touch with how we feel about ourselves; and be careful we are not taking on other people’s perspective that do not truly reflect what we think or believe.

The Protection of self-Esteem

Having a healthy self-esteem protects you from the negative judgements, disrespect and knock-backs that are intentionally and unintentionally thrown your way. You are not easily taken down or taken advantage of. Your overall wellbeing is fortified. And I also feel it keeps you aware and confident initiate plans and to walk through the doors of opportunities as they open for you.

We’ve all had our self-esteem knocked at some point in our lives and some would like for it to stay that way. But it’s up to us to build and strengthen ourselves. The word “esteem” on its own is usually used for someone who is highly admired and respected for one reason or another. So we need to take that and turn it inwards towards ourselves. Love, admire and respect ourselves regardless of what another person thinks. Our self-esteem shouldn’t rely on the nods of acceptance of others. It’s should be grounded within us so when others try to plant seeds of doubt within us the seeds can’t grow.

Poster Girl Vee!

Take it from me; someone who has done both the acceptable: Graduated from university with a Degree and the unacceptable: Been to prison and got a criminal record. Two extremes that make my point; I have been praised and gossiped about. People will use whatever they can against you to make you feel less than and lift themselves on some sort of pedestal like you’re somehow beneath them in some way. They will talk about your weight, your looks, lack of education, your bodycount (don’t get me started on that one), money, assets, your skills, talents, anything! Anything that will evoke the feeling of shame and somehow ostracise you from some golden society.

Do you see how dangerous it is? Allowing others to have power over how you feel about yourself and your life? And none of us are perfect but even in the midst of us discovering that something is wrong for us or no longer aligns with who we are or aspire to become, we should not berate ourselves in the process.

Luckily for me mi shame bag buss long time lol I didn’t allow anyone to tell me about me. What was more important was how I felt about myself not someone outside of me. I know what I want for myself and my life and that’s all that mattered to me. And you know what people are like, if they’re going to do anything, they’re going to talk, talk, talk…

Write it down

With everything mentioned above I bet many of us haven’t even asked ourselves simple questions:

• What do I like/love about myself?
• What skills and talents do I have?
• How do I bring value to myself and others?
• How would I like to improve myself?

If you are struggling to write anything down, message your friends and family and ask them about your skills and talents. The response will be eye opening. When I asked my family I was surprised at some of the things they said as I wouldn’t have listed those attributes but they were things I had demonstrated.

I bet you have some wonderful traits that you’re not even aware of.

Labour of Love: Work on it

If there are things about yourself that you’re not particularly fond of, that can be changed, work on it. Keep loving and having grace for yourself and work towards improving whatever it is. Maintaining your self-esteem is a journey within itself because there will always be outside influences at play.

Keep loving and working on yourself!

Seeyalaterbye!